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Putting Our Best Selves Out There

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It is strange to think of how far we've come in the past four months. We went from casually going wherever we wanted to go, whenever we wanted to go, to staying close to home. We went from hugging to waving. I went from rarely leaving the house with make-up on to rarely leaving WITH makeup on. I mean, come on - have you seen what lipstick does to the inside of a mask? What hasn't changed is our need to put ourselves "out there". I know many of you lost your job and are having to interview on a virtual meeting for the next position. Some of you are still managing your team and need to have some of the "pesky"   Difficult Conversations  I wrote about last month. Others are thinking about asking for funding for your Start-up, or asking for a promotion you deserve.  Although all of these reasons to put ourselves out there are different, the skills to DO it, are the same. We need to create confidence around our message. We need to prepare thoroughly. We need to l...
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Those Pesky Difficult Conversations

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Last week I had to have a difficult conversation. But Kirsten - you TEACH people how to have difficult conversations. It should have been easy, right? I shouldn't have felt that anxious pit in my stomach, or the restlessness in my pacing the evening prior to having the actual conversation, right? Wrong. You see, I was really worried about how the other person might take this conversation. I was worried about losing a wonderful working relationship that I have had for nearly 14 years. I was worried she'd be mad. All of this to say, thank goodness I DO teach this stuff for a living. I knew what to do - it was just doing what I knew, and not letting my emotions get the best of me. I want to share a couple of the ways I prepared to have this difficult conversation. First, I took some deep breaths.  Secondly, I wrote out what I actually wanted to say. I tell people to do this and some people might first think it is a bunch of hooey - but then they write it out, practice having the c...
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Our Choice to React or Respond

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We are raw. Our emotions are cut to the quick. This new way of working, and even existing, isn’t easy. For some, we have been in our homes, obeying #StayAtHome orders, while juggling working in rooms not originally meant as office spaces, and family members who are used to being apart during the work and school day. Others are essential workers who have just as much juggling – although different. Our children's Summer camps have been cancelled. Many of our cities are being torn apart by injustice and unrest. It is a lot.   These raw emotions and how we deal with them, play into our emotional intelligence (EQ). Having high EQ skills takes on new and different meanings than it has in the past. Before the pandemic, you usually had the opportunity to meet face-to-face and in person to discuss matters.   Now, we are meeting on the phone, over video calls, and we are more reliant on shared documents and email.   Let’s say that our Self-Awareness, the first tenet of EQ, is...
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